Nails leaving marks on a newborn’s scalp conveyed an undertone of violence for me and may have colored my reading of the rest of the poem. The mother seems unwilling to accept her baby for who he is, as well as her husband. I’m not sure whether that was what you intended?
Yes, an undertone of abuse but also a pushing away of the infant because of appearance…white dividing lines. The mother gave mixed messages to the infant, herself and the world. No one other than you thus far has picked up on the abuse issue. This particular poem is “loaded” and the humorous tone can be misleading. Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback, Liz.
Mark, your poem is strong and vivid. However, the sentiment is foreign to me as I can’t perceive of a mother
seeing her newborn as anything but beautiful. Someone that fills her heart with pure joy.
Many babies are bold, most fair babies are.
I can’t imagine a sour person’s remark would have any effect on a mother’s knowledge. My baby is beautiful.
☺Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some babies have hair when born, some don’t. I was a don’t have hair one. My mom was quite concern thought I would never have more then a few strands for a girl. Lo and behold I got a head of hair. My mom and dad were very happy. They now have a daughter with hair. ☺
The really important concern is that I was healthy.
Beauty comes from the heart❤ no matter what age you are!❤
It definitely should come from the heart, Hope. Tell that to the guys with trophy wives or the women with rich trophy husbands. I agree, though, the best kind of love comes from heart. 🙂🙏🏻
Crow On The Wire 
This poem bothered me. I think it was the scraping of the mother’s nails across the baby’s scalp leaving marks.
I’m curious. What bothered you about that line and the poem in general?
Nails leaving marks on a newborn’s scalp conveyed an undertone of violence for me and may have colored my reading of the rest of the poem. The mother seems unwilling to accept her baby for who he is, as well as her husband. I’m not sure whether that was what you intended?
Yes, an undertone of abuse but also a pushing away of the infant because of appearance…white dividing lines. The mother gave mixed messages to the infant, herself and the world. No one other than you thus far has picked up on the abuse issue. This particular poem is “loaded” and the humorous tone can be misleading. Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback, Liz.
You’re welcome. I thought the poem was “loaded.”
🙂
Mark, your poem is strong and vivid. However, the sentiment is foreign to me as I can’t perceive of a mother
seeing her newborn as anything but beautiful. Someone that fills her heart with pure joy.
Many babies are bold, most fair babies are.
I can’t imagine a sour person’s remark would have any effect on a mother’s knowledge. My baby is beautiful.
Miriam
I respect your point of view Miriam. And I’m happy that you cared enough to write about it.
😊
☺Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some babies have hair when born, some don’t. I was a don’t have hair one. My mom was quite concern thought I would never have more then a few strands for a girl. Lo and behold I got a head of hair. My mom and dad were very happy. They now have a daughter with hair. ☺
The really important concern is that I was healthy.
Beauty comes from the heart❤ no matter what age you are!❤
It definitely should come from the heart, Hope. Tell that to the guys with trophy wives or the women with rich trophy husbands. I agree, though, the best kind of love comes from heart. 🙂🙏🏻