That gnawing part of me
feels like a separate person,
an alter ego
that I can’t control.
He’s a friend who motivates
An enemy who causes guilt and anxiety,
I know he’s only trying to help,
defend my integrity,
make me strong in the eyes of the others,
but he takes a lot out of me—
peace and serenity.
He makes my mind ache
from those needless thoughts
and fruitless conflicts
that he drags me through.
All that fighting and competing
seem like such a waste of time.
So what if someone butts ahead of me?
Who cares if my coworker gets the promotion
It should be, Good for them!
I should say, I’m so happy that you got
what you’ve been striving for.
Not, the minute they turn their back,
I can’t wait to get revenge.