I had a dream last night.
I was in the midst of something. It was about me but not about me. There was a lot of activity and energy in the space around me. I felt like an outsider but I was apart of everything. I was both an observer and a follower.
My ex-wife was a dead spirit in the dream. She was helping my soon-to-be wife plan our wedding. They were working together effectively, not asking for my input, not bickering or fighting over me, but working together like they were old friends.
I realized in this dream that my ex-wife was helping my “soon-to-be” to transition to bride and then to wife. My ex was not sad, jealous, or resentful in any way. She did not bad-mouth me or mention any of my disgusting habits like sticking my hands in my pants while sitting on the sofa and watching TV.
There was a wedding to be done and my ex-wife was focussed and intent on helping my fiancé even if she was only a spirit.
I then saw a bridge crossing a large body of water. “Come on,” they motioned to me. ”It’s time to go.” I got off the rock where I was observing and moved toward the crowd as we crossed the bridge together. There were fireworks overhead with a fantastic rainbow traversing the cloudless sky. My ex-wife walked halfway across the bridge, stopped, turned around and disappeared back into the spirit world.
There was celebratory music as people marched across the bridge. There was hope, promise, and no regrets.
I anticipated something special, something wonderful, good, and long lasting. The sky opened up with the face of God staring down at us. We were amazed and speechless…
And then my fiancé farted.
Her anal gas wasn’t part of the dream but a real fart that happened about two in the morning.
It was of the big, explosive variety–the one that feels like a ground-shaking earthquake that jolts you out of a sound sleep.
I vaguely remember what I did next, but I think I got up from the bed in a groggy state, opened up the window to clear out the odor and took a pee in the bathroom.
My fiancé rolled over to the other side of the bed. I played two or three games of solitaire on my iPhone before falling asleep.
What does this dream mean? Has my ex-wife forgiven me for the all the years of pain and suffering she experienced in the marriage? Is she really happy I’m getting married again? I thought about these things as I woke up this morning, still smelling the vague fragrance of pork chops and cole slaw that we had for dinner last night.
For more on flatulence, check out my hub called The Candle of Mercy.