I often think of Jesus. I think of him not so much in a religious way but in a personal way or a human way. What was he like? What did he look like? Did he look Jewish? Or did he look Anglo or Spanish or African or Asian? Did he have light skin, dark skin and did he burn in the summertime?
Many of us feel we know him. We feel we can talk to him and talk for him. Many of us seem to create him in our own image or use him to make us feel more holy. Some of us use his words to make others feel inferior or make ourselves feel smarter. Or perhaps we use the words in the bible to feel more secure in this very temporary and unstable world.
But for me, Jesus is a mystery. Until I see him with my own eyes and hear his voice, I don’t know who he really is. I can only hope he is a certain way. I can only hope that he is intelligent and good and wise and that he cares about others like they (theologians) say he does. I can only hope that the words in the bible are not just well written words but have authentic spiritual truth. I can only hope that the people who believe in Him will meet Him one day and won’t be let down or disappointed.
I can only guess that he really is a savior and that he is worthy of my admiration, respect and worship.
I can only guess that he loves me and that he’s a nicer guy than his father, who often seemed judgmental and punishing when someone crossed him. Not to say that he is a spiteful God or a God that isn’t loving. But he seemed very different than Jesus.
And why did Jesus have to die and then not really die and come back to us again? Why couldn’t he have just stayed here instead of leaving so suddenly and so violently?
I wonder when Jesus rose from the dead was there as much excitement as the ball dropping on New Year’s day or fireworks exploding on the Fourth of July?
As for the mother of Jesus, Mary. I have no clue what she was like. She is even more of a mystery to me than the son of god. Was she pretty or was she just plain and humble? Was she very maternalistic or did she give Jesus a lot of freedom and room to grow into his destiny?
I wonder if she was very upset that he was going to sacrifice his life for others and that she wouldn’t see him again after the crucifixion. I often wonder if she didn’t fight him on all this sacrificial stuff and wanted him to be just a normal human being, without having a cross to bear.
I wonder if God was a mystery to Mary or was it clear to her that the mission that Jesus was on, to sacrifice his own life so others could live–was a good idea. Or was Mary just as confused as many of us are?
For more on Mary, on a lighter side, read, Six Disciples Ahead of Us Jesus.