I think I’ll be writing about my mother until I get a handle on my issues with her. She is such a big part of me that I can’t deny it any longer. She may be a separate person but she is in my DNA. She is in my collective consciousness. She is in my dreams. Even though she is mentally ill and extremely hard to deal with–I love her. I have to love her because loving her means loving myself. I have to find the positive in my mother to find the positive in me. I have to see her weaknesses to see the weaknesses in me. I spent most of my life making fun of her and making her the butt of my jokes. I spent most of my years putting her down and denying her impact on my life. Now I can’t deny her any longer. I have to acknowledge her importance in my life. I have to build her up like I have to build myself up. We are a parallel process. I have to see her as the human being she really is. She is just like me.
Please read my HubPage article about how to develop compassion for a schizophrenic mother.